/ 10:28 PM

Am I changing?
That shouldn't have to be a bad thing.
But I feel quite bad about it.
I don't want to be constantly unsure of myself.
I don't want to constantly leave myself hanging, and feel like there's no ground beneath me for a safe landing.
I am questioning -everything-, even the things I was so sure about before.
That is ridiculous.
I know there has to be a point where I stop.
I don't have to always push myself like this.
I am not ineloquent.
I am not emo.
Why the hell I wonder if I am anyway.
I was not meant to be an angry person.
Because I have much to live for.
I have much to be happy about.
I have much to be sad about even.
And even then, it is fine.
Because I shall allow myself to feel.
I shall allow myself to question.
Without getting to breaking point.
Because some things will never ever change.
Even if most things do.
Even if I should change.
It's okay to be scared.
It's okay to be insecure.
I can feel.
I can question.
I do not have to be in control.
I do not have to nag at myself.
I will allow it to come.
I will let the words come.
I'll let them come out of me.
Instead of holding back.
It's okay to be bored even.
It's okay to be on your own.
It's okay to stand apart from everyone else.
If that's the way it feels sometimes.
It's okay because
I still have some good times left.
Good times are waiting for me.
I can be a million different people
As the song goes.
And the million different people
Will all be me.

Author's Note: Seems that I write 'poetry' when I have free time like now, when I don't have any schoolwork to do at the moment. Lol.

DUN WORRY YEAH.. Lol. I am perfectly fine. Not depressed at all. This blog is the place where I just am honest. This blog is not where I write about happy things, because one doesn't have to actually talk about happy things anyway. That's what I always say yeah. But the fact that I want to share it all here, shows that I really am open about all this! This 'other' side of me, if I may put it like so. ^^ Erm. I really dun know how I'm changing. I'm getting old... Haha, NOT. Crazy about the movies as I am, I think I see things nowadays (whether in actuality or in my head. For me, seeing reality in a different way is all that really interests me) instead of saying things. I see and do, and not say. Haha yeah, maybe that's just it... Uh huh. Well, I'll be back with more to say perhaps. Till then, Ciaooooo.

write about yourself here like how you lived through a crisis like the morrocian crisis. erps, have you studied about that before and about your test, how easy it is and how much confidence you have to pass and get all A1s for all subjects, add in your own wish here, and what you would do if target is not reached, like slash your wrist, eat many many painkiller pills at one shot and die. lol it's suicidal thoughts. stay away from that. but you need to enter a reality, everyone's doing that- it's the trend, so why not follow it. unless you want to be an odd one out. cause slashing wrist is soo common in girls school not in boys school. boys suicide, just like die gracefully from 30th storey, just look on the bright side, maybe you have lived in a lie too long and so you have found out the turth now, just think. optimist wins. you have entered into a world of reality



We know life's hard, truth is hard, lies are hard, they are all hard to accept when they have been found out, and i'm rushing history homework on the Abyissian Crisis about Italy and Abyssia going into war and that the League Of Nations cannot stop this from happening, and beacuse they are formed by means to stop war and peace-keep the countries together, they have thus failed to achieve that. I think i tend to hold a class for history instead of telling you about me, i'm basically a what subject-realted lover (humanities) and thus I am more analytical and critical about things, and likes to study about dead people, haha. lol. it's history what can you expect and also geography, it amazes me. I really like it alot, so what have you? Again to find this answer you need to enter into your own reality and reflect




it's amazing. amzing how people change the way of things, like how I used to hate outdoors in Band felt it was a complete waste of time, i've acquired to like it more, i guess people change, their thereotical means and applications in life just goes on into a new direction, and see things in another perspective, i guess- it's all in the mind. It really amazes me how these comes into action, from someone so pessimistic has changed his own view of things, and thus my friend is scoring much better, being more optimisitc and not think of his old way of suicidal thoughts, which are pretty daunting. and thus we need to see things, in another light, another perspective and another new way, to enable us to open up our minds, and make more new things, the new way it is. done with the old back with the new

i've hiatus-ed.

/ 10:28 PM

Am I changing?
That shouldn't have to be a bad thing.
But I feel quite bad about it.
I don't want to be constantly unsure of myself.
I don't want to constantly leave myself hanging, and feel like there's no ground beneath me for a safe landing.
I am questioning -everything-, even the things I was so sure about before.
That is ridiculous.
I know there has to be a point where I stop.
I don't have to always push myself like this.
I am not ineloquent.
I am not emo.
Why the hell I wonder if I am anyway.
I was not meant to be an angry person.
Because I have much to live for.
I have much to be happy about.
I have much to be sad about even.
And even then, it is fine.
Because I shall allow myself to feel.
I shall allow myself to question.
Without getting to breaking point.
Because some things will never ever change.
Even if most things do.
Even if I should change.
It's okay to be scared.
It's okay to be insecure.
I can feel.
I can question.
I do not have to be in control.
I do not have to nag at myself.
I will allow it to come.
I will let the words come.
I'll let them come out of me.
Instead of holding back.
It's okay to be bored even.
It's okay to be on your own.
It's okay to stand apart from everyone else.
If that's the way it feels sometimes.
It's okay because
I still have some good times left.
Good times are waiting for me.
I can be a million different people
As the song goes.
And the million different people
Will all be me.

Author's Note: Seems that I write 'poetry' when I have free time like now, when I don't have any schoolwork to do at the moment. Lol.

DUN WORRY YEAH.. Lol. I am perfectly fine. Not depressed at all. This blog is the place where I just am honest. This blog is not where I write about happy things, because one doesn't have to actually talk about happy things anyway. That's what I always say yeah. But the fact that I want to share it all here, shows that I really am open about all this! This 'other' side of me, if I may put it like so. ^^ Erm. I really dun know how I'm changing. I'm getting old... Haha, NOT. Crazy about the movies as I am, I think I see things nowadays (whether in actuality or in my head. For me, seeing reality in a different way is all that really interests me) instead of saying things. I see and do, and not say. Haha yeah, maybe that's just it... Uh huh. Well, I'll be back with more to say perhaps. Till then, Ciaooooo.