/ 11:07 PM

I was having a mind-numbing day again, just being stuck at home. No, I wasn't alone, but with my dad at home. Still, I was acting like a listless nutcase, however I made it a point not to intimidate anyone else. Then I did what I've learnt to do these days - and that is to find something to do. When the bored-to-the-extent-of-questioning-what-the-hell-am-I-doing-with-my-life syndrome strikes. I find something to do to make myself happy.

So I watched the movie "Pleasantville".

And that has reigned me back in from an abyss of wild and unpleasant thoughts mainly of my own creation.

I'm absorbing a lot these days. At the time the mind awakens, one never stops learning. But there could be a lot of difference between what each person chooses to learn. Yet that is another matter altogether. So yeah.. New happenings day after day.. Some pleasant discoveries, some unpleasant. One needs to learn to let go. A lot of disappointments, and one cannot afford to entertain them all. The first song that struck this thought into my head is Swithfoot's song, 'Daisy'. It can help to make things easier sometimes.

One also learns to talk more. I'll certainly be more receptive of that if that can translated to mean more self expression.. Because self expression is not a bad thing.. But let's keep it as 'one needs to learn to talk more'. One definitely needs to be more vocal these days, or have one's voice drowned out in the sea of voices struggling to be heard. It's okay to try to get yourself heard. But it's not okay to get your voice heard over another.

So okay, I think, fine then. Following others' examples, one tries to be less shy, more confident, talk more. Why not talk more if it gets people to feel comfortable and happier for the moment? Learn to be funnier. That will make one more of a character. Why not? Jokes can make a person's day. Leaves a good impression.

This point about 'more talk' can be related to the point about letting things go. Perhaps we could use the term 'touch-and-go'. These terms sound... Social. So is it such that one may socialize, but is it a one in a million chance that we get to find somebody to fill in the emptiness? I hold the view.. That we are this-and-that throughout our lives, and yeah, we live with it. But if someone important comes along, that person will be what we have never gotten to be. I know, this is tough to get. Well, the person will be unexpected! That's why you'll love the person! O.K.?? Hahaha.. To put this in perspective again, it's like what they say, i.e. opposites attract. But I don't really believe that. I think it sounds warmer to use the word 'complement'. But I can also argue that a person with a character quite opposite of yourself can complete you... Heheheh
Because like I said, the important someone who comes along could be what one has never gotten to be..

And! I have yet another hypothesis with regards to that too! Just formed it. Take it that your other half is what you've never gotten to be, right? Why is that? If I should see it in terms of a drama unfolding now (lol!), let's say this guy is a total star among all who know him (but apparently, they know him and yet don't know him). Good looking, makes friends quickly, and is just so at ease with all that he does. And one starts to wonder "what, is life so easy for him? or is he just strong enough to deal with it?" And then on set, we'll have a klutzy girl who's struggling to fit in. She'll be in disbelief, and think "how does he do it?"

Then they'll bump into each other somehow (possibly a head-on collision because the girl has to have her cute moments. I can definitely think of a parody of this one. When someone falls, that person is not supposed to look pretty. So yah, tell me how this girl can take a fall and subsequently appear to be cute so successfully? Tell me. XP). Okay that's too long a sentence. Backtrack! - They'll bump into each other somehow, and the guy will think "this girl doesn't seem to have any defenses. the feeling is so natural", and that's what the guy never got to be, because although he appears to do everything with ease, he's guarded. Doesn't reveal anything real.

Don't think revealing one's real feelings is easy either arh.. Cannot push it sometimes.. Revealing one's feelings is tiring! Need to find the words to express, and that would take up too much time.. Thinking also takes time.. So don't think! =X

So this guy appears to breeze through everything, because he doesn't take time to reveal any personal feelings. And the girl? Such a predictable teenage drama. She'll find out that the guy has experienced much to have come to prefer to keep his feelings stored aside, so while there's his ability to mix with other people that she never got to achieve yet, there's now more about him for her to appreciate. So there'll be a boy-meets-girl sequence and then a definite happily ever after.

So do you get the point.

NO??? @_____@"

Went off-course again... Has the 'more talk' and 'touch-and-go' slipped out of your consciousness to be lost forever? =P I was going to say, the movie "Pleasantville" made me stay quiet throughout, and I was just glad to take in the movie. It lasted from the beginning of the movie all the way up to the end of the theme song that played while the credits rolled.

I've blogged for too long now. I planned to say some more things, so I'll still say them but make it brief. Because if I don't say them now, the thought doesn't strike so deeply if I were to blog about it later.

Currently, I like this korean boyband consisting of 13 members, and the band is called Super Junior.

All hail randomness.

I especially like this member by the name of Lee Dong Hae. It could be because I just like his handsome face. But his name is very nice also. It's translated as 'dong hai' in chinese, meaning 'eastern sea'. Lol. But oh man, his smile comes very easily too. The band has a couple of funny camp-out shows. And his character in the shows is kinda enticing. And I'm in the midst of writing a fanfic with him as the protagonist. Hey, don't brush this off as silly fan talk lei.. It's quite a big issue to me (haha, right).. I have been trying to write some fics, but not succeeding :P

Last random thing, of much more significance.

I'm proud enough of myself. I should tell this to myself occasionally man.. I can occupy my own time relatively well (aww not really, till I can find how to get my hands on a movie camera. I gave up on the chance to loan a HD movie cam back when I was working the admin job). I can make myself happy. Now perhaps I can think of the bigger picture. Other people. Yes, *weary already* Other people. My own family. Yeah, that ought to be important. I accept and I love them. But often, I get mad at them too, but there are no long arguments. Which could be worse, it's kept inside in an attempt to deal with it on my own. The wonder and the anger is derived within myself, so I deal with it myself. I just wonder how a whole day can pass, with each of us doing an activity of our own, and not a word passes between us aside from customary things. I really just wish there was more. Because there should be more. But sometimes I get the sense that there is never really going to be more. That's the way it is.

Oh, the bigger picture. I think, maybe I ought not to let go of things so fast without gaining just a little more understanding first. A real good friend of mine made me think of this. I was dismissing something light-heartedly, and she mentioned sometimes we could gain some understanding first. And yeah, I keep that with me. It was refreshing to hear that, in fact. Out of the same ol' things one hears, on hearing something different which strikes true, one would keep that in mind alright.

But other times I know what I can take, and what I can't and shouldn't. But don't stay angry, let it go.

I'd rather end this post with saying 'maybe I ought not to let go of things so fast without gaining just a little more understanding first'.

I have hereby made up for my long absence from blogging with this very post.

write about yourself here like how you lived through a crisis like the morrocian crisis. erps, have you studied about that before and about your test, how easy it is and how much confidence you have to pass and get all A1s for all subjects, add in your own wish here, and what you would do if target is not reached, like slash your wrist, eat many many painkiller pills at one shot and die. lol it's suicidal thoughts. stay away from that. but you need to enter a reality, everyone's doing that- it's the trend, so why not follow it. unless you want to be an odd one out. cause slashing wrist is soo common in girls school not in boys school. boys suicide, just like die gracefully from 30th storey, just look on the bright side, maybe you have lived in a lie too long and so you have found out the turth now, just think. optimist wins. you have entered into a world of reality



We know life's hard, truth is hard, lies are hard, they are all hard to accept when they have been found out, and i'm rushing history homework on the Abyissian Crisis about Italy and Abyssia going into war and that the League Of Nations cannot stop this from happening, and beacuse they are formed by means to stop war and peace-keep the countries together, they have thus failed to achieve that. I think i tend to hold a class for history instead of telling you about me, i'm basically a what subject-realted lover (humanities) and thus I am more analytical and critical about things, and likes to study about dead people, haha. lol. it's history what can you expect and also geography, it amazes me. I really like it alot, so what have you? Again to find this answer you need to enter into your own reality and reflect




it's amazing. amzing how people change the way of things, like how I used to hate outdoors in Band felt it was a complete waste of time, i've acquired to like it more, i guess people change, their thereotical means and applications in life just goes on into a new direction, and see things in another perspective, i guess- it's all in the mind. It really amazes me how these comes into action, from someone so pessimistic has changed his own view of things, and thus my friend is scoring much better, being more optimisitc and not think of his old way of suicidal thoughts, which are pretty daunting. and thus we need to see things, in another light, another perspective and another new way, to enable us to open up our minds, and make more new things, the new way it is. done with the old back with the new

i've hiatus-ed.

/ 11:07 PM

I was having a mind-numbing day again, just being stuck at home. No, I wasn't alone, but with my dad at home. Still, I was acting like a listless nutcase, however I made it a point not to intimidate anyone else. Then I did what I've learnt to do these days - and that is to find something to do. When the bored-to-the-extent-of-questioning-what-the-hell-am-I-doing-with-my-life syndrome strikes. I find something to do to make myself happy.

So I watched the movie "Pleasantville".

And that has reigned me back in from an abyss of wild and unpleasant thoughts mainly of my own creation.

I'm absorbing a lot these days. At the time the mind awakens, one never stops learning. But there could be a lot of difference between what each person chooses to learn. Yet that is another matter altogether. So yeah.. New happenings day after day.. Some pleasant discoveries, some unpleasant. One needs to learn to let go. A lot of disappointments, and one cannot afford to entertain them all. The first song that struck this thought into my head is Swithfoot's song, 'Daisy'. It can help to make things easier sometimes.

One also learns to talk more. I'll certainly be more receptive of that if that can translated to mean more self expression.. Because self expression is not a bad thing.. But let's keep it as 'one needs to learn to talk more'. One definitely needs to be more vocal these days, or have one's voice drowned out in the sea of voices struggling to be heard. It's okay to try to get yourself heard. But it's not okay to get your voice heard over another.

So okay, I think, fine then. Following others' examples, one tries to be less shy, more confident, talk more. Why not talk more if it gets people to feel comfortable and happier for the moment? Learn to be funnier. That will make one more of a character. Why not? Jokes can make a person's day. Leaves a good impression.

This point about 'more talk' can be related to the point about letting things go. Perhaps we could use the term 'touch-and-go'. These terms sound... Social. So is it such that one may socialize, but is it a one in a million chance that we get to find somebody to fill in the emptiness? I hold the view.. That we are this-and-that throughout our lives, and yeah, we live with it. But if someone important comes along, that person will be what we have never gotten to be. I know, this is tough to get. Well, the person will be unexpected! That's why you'll love the person! O.K.?? Hahaha.. To put this in perspective again, it's like what they say, i.e. opposites attract. But I don't really believe that. I think it sounds warmer to use the word 'complement'. But I can also argue that a person with a character quite opposite of yourself can complete you... Heheheh
Because like I said, the important someone who comes along could be what one has never gotten to be..

And! I have yet another hypothesis with regards to that too! Just formed it. Take it that your other half is what you've never gotten to be, right? Why is that? If I should see it in terms of a drama unfolding now (lol!), let's say this guy is a total star among all who know him (but apparently, they know him and yet don't know him). Good looking, makes friends quickly, and is just so at ease with all that he does. And one starts to wonder "what, is life so easy for him? or is he just strong enough to deal with it?" And then on set, we'll have a klutzy girl who's struggling to fit in. She'll be in disbelief, and think "how does he do it?"

Then they'll bump into each other somehow (possibly a head-on collision because the girl has to have her cute moments. I can definitely think of a parody of this one. When someone falls, that person is not supposed to look pretty. So yah, tell me how this girl can take a fall and subsequently appear to be cute so successfully? Tell me. XP). Okay that's too long a sentence. Backtrack! - They'll bump into each other somehow, and the guy will think "this girl doesn't seem to have any defenses. the feeling is so natural", and that's what the guy never got to be, because although he appears to do everything with ease, he's guarded. Doesn't reveal anything real.

Don't think revealing one's real feelings is easy either arh.. Cannot push it sometimes.. Revealing one's feelings is tiring! Need to find the words to express, and that would take up too much time.. Thinking also takes time.. So don't think! =X

So this guy appears to breeze through everything, because he doesn't take time to reveal any personal feelings. And the girl? Such a predictable teenage drama. She'll find out that the guy has experienced much to have come to prefer to keep his feelings stored aside, so while there's his ability to mix with other people that she never got to achieve yet, there's now more about him for her to appreciate. So there'll be a boy-meets-girl sequence and then a definite happily ever after.

So do you get the point.

NO??? @_____@"

Went off-course again... Has the 'more talk' and 'touch-and-go' slipped out of your consciousness to be lost forever? =P I was going to say, the movie "Pleasantville" made me stay quiet throughout, and I was just glad to take in the movie. It lasted from the beginning of the movie all the way up to the end of the theme song that played while the credits rolled.

I've blogged for too long now. I planned to say some more things, so I'll still say them but make it brief. Because if I don't say them now, the thought doesn't strike so deeply if I were to blog about it later.

Currently, I like this korean boyband consisting of 13 members, and the band is called Super Junior.

All hail randomness.

I especially like this member by the name of Lee Dong Hae. It could be because I just like his handsome face. But his name is very nice also. It's translated as 'dong hai' in chinese, meaning 'eastern sea'. Lol. But oh man, his smile comes very easily too. The band has a couple of funny camp-out shows. And his character in the shows is kinda enticing. And I'm in the midst of writing a fanfic with him as the protagonist. Hey, don't brush this off as silly fan talk lei.. It's quite a big issue to me (haha, right).. I have been trying to write some fics, but not succeeding :P

Last random thing, of much more significance.

I'm proud enough of myself. I should tell this to myself occasionally man.. I can occupy my own time relatively well (aww not really, till I can find how to get my hands on a movie camera. I gave up on the chance to loan a HD movie cam back when I was working the admin job). I can make myself happy. Now perhaps I can think of the bigger picture. Other people. Yes, *weary already* Other people. My own family. Yeah, that ought to be important. I accept and I love them. But often, I get mad at them too, but there are no long arguments. Which could be worse, it's kept inside in an attempt to deal with it on my own. The wonder and the anger is derived within myself, so I deal with it myself. I just wonder how a whole day can pass, with each of us doing an activity of our own, and not a word passes between us aside from customary things. I really just wish there was more. Because there should be more. But sometimes I get the sense that there is never really going to be more. That's the way it is.

Oh, the bigger picture. I think, maybe I ought not to let go of things so fast without gaining just a little more understanding first. A real good friend of mine made me think of this. I was dismissing something light-heartedly, and she mentioned sometimes we could gain some understanding first. And yeah, I keep that with me. It was refreshing to hear that, in fact. Out of the same ol' things one hears, on hearing something different which strikes true, one would keep that in mind alright.

But other times I know what I can take, and what I can't and shouldn't. But don't stay angry, let it go.

I'd rather end this post with saying 'maybe I ought not to let go of things so fast without gaining just a little more understanding first'.

I have hereby made up for my long absence from blogging with this very post.