/ 11:31 PM

Howdy people! I've finished watching the anime "Black Cat"! This is the start off point from which I had formed a string of thoughts in my head.. But now that I am about to get them down properly, it'll take some time.. The whole string of thoughts form in my head first, and they come quickly.. But I think faster than I write.. Which I often suppose is the reason/excuse for my inability to do well in written tests..^^ And now, taking down the thoughts which came to me just now will require some time..

But I always just start off, and try to get into the flow.. So, as I've said, I'm done with watching "Black Cat".. I'm not about to review it, although I do reccommend it! Anime can be considered as another form of escapism for me.. It's possibly why every other fan of anime is a fan at all.. Gun fights, sword fights, and accompanying fancy moves too.. All these exciting stuff you won't find happening in your daily life, you get your dosage of it from anime.. Sorrie if I'm gonna sound absolute, and like a know-it-all.. It's easier phrasing my words like so.. I shall continue in this manner, although my words are not meant to be absolute yeah? Ok, let's continue.. It shouldn't be the violence that excites anime fans.. It's the coolness of it all.. Lol.. I'm starting to think my line of thought is getting childish.. I'm intending to think through why the 'coolness' in anime mean something to me and others too.. Is that all it's about? Merely coz it's 'cool'? :S Oh no no, I always like to believe that my interests are all of 'standard' one.. Haha.. I refuse to leave it at that.. As in, do we just like anime coz some anime character just looks so dashing (and again yeah, cool) with an invincible gun or blade in hand? The weapon itself always has a stylish design of its own too, in every anime of such genre.. One falls in love with the weapon as much as the character who owns it.. It's like -planned- to be that way.. Animators must have the very intention to include the weapon in the characterization process.. It's a whole package, weapon and anime character.. (And I've just read vol. 8 of Bleach, 'The Blade And Me' XP)

And I haven't answered the question of whether we just like anime coz some anime character flashing a weapon simply looks all 'coolness'.. But now I consider this: Anime characters have perfect looks, as you know.. And throw a sleek weapon in with the image.. And quite a typical anime fight scene might go like this.. Sleek weapon is looking all brilliant once anime character withdraws it to fight.. Sleek weapon glints smartly, and anime character is ready for action.. Closeup on eyes of anime character, and the determined, beautifully coloured eyes are quite a wonderful sight.. Anime character charges forth and shows off the fancy moves, and one gets all awed.. Plus anime character's beautiful hair sways in the fight(and fight like all hell's loose, yet the hair will remain ever so amazing =X), like in synchrony with the weapon's movement.. Haha.. One can't help but think 'That is one cool character!'.. For the character has not just perfect looks, but perfect grace too.. And that's more than you can ask for from guys (okok, girls too) you meet wherever you go.. Lolz.. But of course, I'm don't think that we humans should aim for perfection.. Not only are we incapable of it, but that would be tiresome too..

So yeah, even if one does like an anime character simply coz the character's 'cool', I think I have justified that pretty fairly..XD But liking an anime character for looking perfectly suave also suggests that in the real world, one is pretty deprived.. Boo hoo.. That means I am too (T.T)

Haha.. Let us move on.. This is not the sole reason for liking anime.. There are others.. I mentioned in an above paragraph that all the exciting stuff that happens in an anime which one won't find happening in one's daily life, one can get a dosage of it by watching anime then.. I have put down in my blog sentences which Tim Burton has said before in an interview, about one's need for some drama in one life.. I have applied to this idea, and I think it will continue to hold true for me.. So yeah, anime action gives me some of that drama.. I am a silly nut to sometimes imagine myself to be able to have the action that anime characters have.. Under the influence of "Black Cat", I have imagined if I could have some mysterious male persona(but of course, I will imagine him to be most handsome, which will not cause me to be frightened of him, but instead I'll warm to the sight of him immediatedly and then follow him into the night ;D) just pop by my bedroom window on one night, and then my whole life would change.. Wahaha.. Then I'll make rooftops my frequent hang-out, and go moon-gazing, and join alliances that fight in the name of justice, and meet the most loyal friends and comrades, and of course continue flirting with the mysterious male persona, and- and- And somebody please slap me to stop this uttering of nonsense :P But indeed.. This is what I have sometimes imagined..

But IF it were to happen(though it never will, duh), take for example I were to be transported into the anime wonderland for a day (hasn't such a storyline been developed already anyway? fushigi yuugi or something, isn't it ;P this is probably how ideas come about.. progressive thinking in line with the times), I wouldn't be able to keep up with action anyway! -Watching- the hero in "Black Cat" execute all his moves so rapidly and stylishly sure kept my adrenaline going.. But when -I- was jogging today, I ran enthusiastically in the beginning with the image of the hero in "Black Cat" racing forth to save some friends.. But not long later, as you might have guessed, I had no more energy lor.. Hahax.. Btw, this is merely the second time I have jogged in this period of time.. I have barely started on my 'exercise programme'.. It was bad running in the park downstairs of my block.. I felt like the atmosphere lacked oxygen.. Ahaha.. Hey, but it's not really an excuse.. I felt so much better running at Bedok Reservoir..

But I did conjur the image of the hero racing forth in my head.. ;P It's what I do.. Try to make things more exciting than they are in reality.. Least I can do eh? Since I can't have the exact action that anime characters have.. Heh..

So there'll be no getting rid of my enemy with just one clean shot from the prized gun, while I stand atop some building in the night, trench coat flapping in the wind.. But I've just thought of something.. A possible reason why anime fans might like the idea of flashing a gun or a blade.. As I've said, I'm not counting on the element of violence.. Rather, I think it's the wish to show off.. Hehe.. I mean, isn't it the coolest (once again) to be able to suddenly reveal some new power others do not possess? It's been long known that having power just makes one feel good.. The more fanciful the power, the more thrilling to showcase.. This has just come to mind.. Case scenario: On the day of collection of 'A' Level results. I had received news of my results which are far too mediocre for my liking. Then a Godzilla comes stomping into the auditorium of Millennia Institute, and I find myself delivering a nuclear wave in the direction of Godzilla, which instantly eradicates it. Will everyone be wondering at my results or my surprising powers? Haha.. Pardon me.. This paragraph is ready to be edited..=P One will wish for a one-in-a-million kind of power than for an ability anyone else can have.. Maybe a small part of me wants to show off too as I'm learning to play the guitar..^^ Hehehe.. But I also feel some private joy in knowing that I can play ok.. But I only want to show off to my family lah.. I won't be so shameless to want to show off to friends.. Haha.. I play the same tune over and over at home, wondering if my brother and father can hear and recognize.. Lol! Right now, I'm still learning the basics.. I know how to play the birthday song, and Elderweiss =_="

But instead of showing off 'ability'.. I think it'll be more meaningful to establish 'identity'.. Such that one knows oneself is trying to polish an ability not to show off, but coz one is interested mastering that ability.. So when capable people come up with great works, surely it's not for the sake of saying 'Oh look, I'm such a genius'.. But it's to say that 'this work of mine expresses me'..

Whatever you love, is you.. If we love nobody and are loved by noone, what becomes of us? I have quoted in my Friendster account a line from the movie 'Closer'.. In a particular scene, this man is angry with a woman, and seeing a side of her he has not seen before, he yells at his complex girlfriend in frustration, "Who are you!" "I am NOONE!" The girl screamed as she cries.. And it was coz she was no longer sure if the man loved her.. Well, I have tried being philosophical in previous blog posts right.. So we don't know why the hell we are here in this world yeah? (I don't seem to be moving away from this line of philosophy :S) So what else gives our existence more meaning than people we love and people who love us? It's the feelings within that drive us.. Not material stuff.. But of course material stuff could be made use of to make us 'happy', so-called.. I'll settle for seeing more of the world out there.. As in, travel.. But we are humans.. We'll need that human-to-human connection sometime or other in our life.. No material item can respond to one the way another human does.. We all need to work so hard at finding people to love and people to love us.. For real..

Sometimes the family you're given loves you already.. So I am lucky in that sense.. Although understanding occasionally may be quite another case, you know it when they are the ones who will stick by you.. But I have yet to talk about my mother.. I am not sure what I could talk about.. Her anniversary is in a few days.. While people are about to celebrate Mother's Day too.. I am still inadequate in thinking about this.. The friction between us then could not have been helped.. I was just angry then.. I find myself saying sorry.. But I wonder if there's a point.. People have talked about wishing to turn back time.. But for me, if that were to happen.. Would I have felt less angry? Would I have been able to control my temper? I don't think I would have been able to completely.. But I think I would have tried to control my temper just a little more.. There have also been times when I would think about the present instead of the past.. Of whether she'll be quite happy to see the person I have become in this period of time.. I mean, I must be somewhat changed now as compared to a year ago.. I want to be able to say that I'm different in a better way too.. I have forgotten about all our quarrels.. I think about her seeing me in the present, and wonder if instead of the quarrels then, she could be quite happy with the way I have turned out now.. I didn't score fantastic results though.. She would have been quite glad if I did.. But I wish to only show that, I will take responsibility for myself.. I will continue with my life, as best as I can.. Try to make the best kind of life for myself.. If I'm proud of myself, I hope she'll be proud of me too..

Ok, I'll leave off talking about that for now.. Just now, I said 'Whatever you love, is you' yeah? The works people produce help them to express themselves.. That is why I don't want to settle for merely watching shows, movies and all for long.. I have a wish to -create- them! I gotta move up to that stage! Then my works will be -me-...^_^

Me, me, me, me! Yes, this blog is supposed to be about me..

But do I overdo it?

Haha, hope not! :X

write about yourself here like how you lived through a crisis like the morrocian crisis. erps, have you studied about that before and about your test, how easy it is and how much confidence you have to pass and get all A1s for all subjects, add in your own wish here, and what you would do if target is not reached, like slash your wrist, eat many many painkiller pills at one shot and die. lol it's suicidal thoughts. stay away from that. but you need to enter a reality, everyone's doing that- it's the trend, so why not follow it. unless you want to be an odd one out. cause slashing wrist is soo common in girls school not in boys school. boys suicide, just like die gracefully from 30th storey, just look on the bright side, maybe you have lived in a lie too long and so you have found out the turth now, just think. optimist wins. you have entered into a world of reality



We know life's hard, truth is hard, lies are hard, they are all hard to accept when they have been found out, and i'm rushing history homework on the Abyissian Crisis about Italy and Abyssia going into war and that the League Of Nations cannot stop this from happening, and beacuse they are formed by means to stop war and peace-keep the countries together, they have thus failed to achieve that. I think i tend to hold a class for history instead of telling you about me, i'm basically a what subject-realted lover (humanities) and thus I am more analytical and critical about things, and likes to study about dead people, haha. lol. it's history what can you expect and also geography, it amazes me. I really like it alot, so what have you? Again to find this answer you need to enter into your own reality and reflect




it's amazing. amzing how people change the way of things, like how I used to hate outdoors in Band felt it was a complete waste of time, i've acquired to like it more, i guess people change, their thereotical means and applications in life just goes on into a new direction, and see things in another perspective, i guess- it's all in the mind. It really amazes me how these comes into action, from someone so pessimistic has changed his own view of things, and thus my friend is scoring much better, being more optimisitc and not think of his old way of suicidal thoughts, which are pretty daunting. and thus we need to see things, in another light, another perspective and another new way, to enable us to open up our minds, and make more new things, the new way it is. done with the old back with the new

i've hiatus-ed.

/ 11:31 PM

Howdy people! I've finished watching the anime "Black Cat"! This is the start off point from which I had formed a string of thoughts in my head.. But now that I am about to get them down properly, it'll take some time.. The whole string of thoughts form in my head first, and they come quickly.. But I think faster than I write.. Which I often suppose is the reason/excuse for my inability to do well in written tests..^^ And now, taking down the thoughts which came to me just now will require some time..

But I always just start off, and try to get into the flow.. So, as I've said, I'm done with watching "Black Cat".. I'm not about to review it, although I do reccommend it! Anime can be considered as another form of escapism for me.. It's possibly why every other fan of anime is a fan at all.. Gun fights, sword fights, and accompanying fancy moves too.. All these exciting stuff you won't find happening in your daily life, you get your dosage of it from anime.. Sorrie if I'm gonna sound absolute, and like a know-it-all.. It's easier phrasing my words like so.. I shall continue in this manner, although my words are not meant to be absolute yeah? Ok, let's continue.. It shouldn't be the violence that excites anime fans.. It's the coolness of it all.. Lol.. I'm starting to think my line of thought is getting childish.. I'm intending to think through why the 'coolness' in anime mean something to me and others too.. Is that all it's about? Merely coz it's 'cool'? :S Oh no no, I always like to believe that my interests are all of 'standard' one.. Haha.. I refuse to leave it at that.. As in, do we just like anime coz some anime character just looks so dashing (and again yeah, cool) with an invincible gun or blade in hand? The weapon itself always has a stylish design of its own too, in every anime of such genre.. One falls in love with the weapon as much as the character who owns it.. It's like -planned- to be that way.. Animators must have the very intention to include the weapon in the characterization process.. It's a whole package, weapon and anime character.. (And I've just read vol. 8 of Bleach, 'The Blade And Me' XP)

And I haven't answered the question of whether we just like anime coz some anime character flashing a weapon simply looks all 'coolness'.. But now I consider this: Anime characters have perfect looks, as you know.. And throw a sleek weapon in with the image.. And quite a typical anime fight scene might go like this.. Sleek weapon is looking all brilliant once anime character withdraws it to fight.. Sleek weapon glints smartly, and anime character is ready for action.. Closeup on eyes of anime character, and the determined, beautifully coloured eyes are quite a wonderful sight.. Anime character charges forth and shows off the fancy moves, and one gets all awed.. Plus anime character's beautiful hair sways in the fight(and fight like all hell's loose, yet the hair will remain ever so amazing =X), like in synchrony with the weapon's movement.. Haha.. One can't help but think 'That is one cool character!'.. For the character has not just perfect looks, but perfect grace too.. And that's more than you can ask for from guys (okok, girls too) you meet wherever you go.. Lolz.. But of course, I'm don't think that we humans should aim for perfection.. Not only are we incapable of it, but that would be tiresome too..

So yeah, even if one does like an anime character simply coz the character's 'cool', I think I have justified that pretty fairly..XD But liking an anime character for looking perfectly suave also suggests that in the real world, one is pretty deprived.. Boo hoo.. That means I am too (T.T)

Haha.. Let us move on.. This is not the sole reason for liking anime.. There are others.. I mentioned in an above paragraph that all the exciting stuff that happens in an anime which one won't find happening in one's daily life, one can get a dosage of it by watching anime then.. I have put down in my blog sentences which Tim Burton has said before in an interview, about one's need for some drama in one life.. I have applied to this idea, and I think it will continue to hold true for me.. So yeah, anime action gives me some of that drama.. I am a silly nut to sometimes imagine myself to be able to have the action that anime characters have.. Under the influence of "Black Cat", I have imagined if I could have some mysterious male persona(but of course, I will imagine him to be most handsome, which will not cause me to be frightened of him, but instead I'll warm to the sight of him immediatedly and then follow him into the night ;D) just pop by my bedroom window on one night, and then my whole life would change.. Wahaha.. Then I'll make rooftops my frequent hang-out, and go moon-gazing, and join alliances that fight in the name of justice, and meet the most loyal friends and comrades, and of course continue flirting with the mysterious male persona, and- and- And somebody please slap me to stop this uttering of nonsense :P But indeed.. This is what I have sometimes imagined..

But IF it were to happen(though it never will, duh), take for example I were to be transported into the anime wonderland for a day (hasn't such a storyline been developed already anyway? fushigi yuugi or something, isn't it ;P this is probably how ideas come about.. progressive thinking in line with the times), I wouldn't be able to keep up with action anyway! -Watching- the hero in "Black Cat" execute all his moves so rapidly and stylishly sure kept my adrenaline going.. But when -I- was jogging today, I ran enthusiastically in the beginning with the image of the hero in "Black Cat" racing forth to save some friends.. But not long later, as you might have guessed, I had no more energy lor.. Hahax.. Btw, this is merely the second time I have jogged in this period of time.. I have barely started on my 'exercise programme'.. It was bad running in the park downstairs of my block.. I felt like the atmosphere lacked oxygen.. Ahaha.. Hey, but it's not really an excuse.. I felt so much better running at Bedok Reservoir..

But I did conjur the image of the hero racing forth in my head.. ;P It's what I do.. Try to make things more exciting than they are in reality.. Least I can do eh? Since I can't have the exact action that anime characters have.. Heh..

So there'll be no getting rid of my enemy with just one clean shot from the prized gun, while I stand atop some building in the night, trench coat flapping in the wind.. But I've just thought of something.. A possible reason why anime fans might like the idea of flashing a gun or a blade.. As I've said, I'm not counting on the element of violence.. Rather, I think it's the wish to show off.. Hehe.. I mean, isn't it the coolest (once again) to be able to suddenly reveal some new power others do not possess? It's been long known that having power just makes one feel good.. The more fanciful the power, the more thrilling to showcase.. This has just come to mind.. Case scenario: On the day of collection of 'A' Level results. I had received news of my results which are far too mediocre for my liking. Then a Godzilla comes stomping into the auditorium of Millennia Institute, and I find myself delivering a nuclear wave in the direction of Godzilla, which instantly eradicates it. Will everyone be wondering at my results or my surprising powers? Haha.. Pardon me.. This paragraph is ready to be edited..=P One will wish for a one-in-a-million kind of power than for an ability anyone else can have.. Maybe a small part of me wants to show off too as I'm learning to play the guitar..^^ Hehehe.. But I also feel some private joy in knowing that I can play ok.. But I only want to show off to my family lah.. I won't be so shameless to want to show off to friends.. Haha.. I play the same tune over and over at home, wondering if my brother and father can hear and recognize.. Lol! Right now, I'm still learning the basics.. I know how to play the birthday song, and Elderweiss =_="

But instead of showing off 'ability'.. I think it'll be more meaningful to establish 'identity'.. Such that one knows oneself is trying to polish an ability not to show off, but coz one is interested mastering that ability.. So when capable people come up with great works, surely it's not for the sake of saying 'Oh look, I'm such a genius'.. But it's to say that 'this work of mine expresses me'..

Whatever you love, is you.. If we love nobody and are loved by noone, what becomes of us? I have quoted in my Friendster account a line from the movie 'Closer'.. In a particular scene, this man is angry with a woman, and seeing a side of her he has not seen before, he yells at his complex girlfriend in frustration, "Who are you!" "I am NOONE!" The girl screamed as she cries.. And it was coz she was no longer sure if the man loved her.. Well, I have tried being philosophical in previous blog posts right.. So we don't know why the hell we are here in this world yeah? (I don't seem to be moving away from this line of philosophy :S) So what else gives our existence more meaning than people we love and people who love us? It's the feelings within that drive us.. Not material stuff.. But of course material stuff could be made use of to make us 'happy', so-called.. I'll settle for seeing more of the world out there.. As in, travel.. But we are humans.. We'll need that human-to-human connection sometime or other in our life.. No material item can respond to one the way another human does.. We all need to work so hard at finding people to love and people to love us.. For real..

Sometimes the family you're given loves you already.. So I am lucky in that sense.. Although understanding occasionally may be quite another case, you know it when they are the ones who will stick by you.. But I have yet to talk about my mother.. I am not sure what I could talk about.. Her anniversary is in a few days.. While people are about to celebrate Mother's Day too.. I am still inadequate in thinking about this.. The friction between us then could not have been helped.. I was just angry then.. I find myself saying sorry.. But I wonder if there's a point.. People have talked about wishing to turn back time.. But for me, if that were to happen.. Would I have felt less angry? Would I have been able to control my temper? I don't think I would have been able to completely.. But I think I would have tried to control my temper just a little more.. There have also been times when I would think about the present instead of the past.. Of whether she'll be quite happy to see the person I have become in this period of time.. I mean, I must be somewhat changed now as compared to a year ago.. I want to be able to say that I'm different in a better way too.. I have forgotten about all our quarrels.. I think about her seeing me in the present, and wonder if instead of the quarrels then, she could be quite happy with the way I have turned out now.. I didn't score fantastic results though.. She would have been quite glad if I did.. But I wish to only show that, I will take responsibility for myself.. I will continue with my life, as best as I can.. Try to make the best kind of life for myself.. If I'm proud of myself, I hope she'll be proud of me too..

Ok, I'll leave off talking about that for now.. Just now, I said 'Whatever you love, is you' yeah? The works people produce help them to express themselves.. That is why I don't want to settle for merely watching shows, movies and all for long.. I have a wish to -create- them! I gotta move up to that stage! Then my works will be -me-...^_^

Me, me, me, me! Yes, this blog is supposed to be about me..

But do I overdo it?

Haha, hope not! :X