/ 3:54 PM

I just watched "Singapore Dreaming", and I wasn't wrong to think that I would love it.. Yes, I love it! It's the best made-in-Singapore film I've seen.. I rate it a full 5 stars.. It shows the life (full of struggles) of an average Singaporean family residing in a HDB apartment, no more and no less.. But basically, the movie is about shattered dreams, and having to continue getting by as best as one can despite that.. There are no niceties, instead, coarse reality is presented.. And it turns out to be a very fine movie..

While watching this, worry about the 'A' level results newly returned to overwhelm myself.. To say that I'm merely worried is an understatement itself.. I can't predict my results at all.. Is it because I want to retain hope in myself? But it is also true that I dunno how lenient or how strict the markers are..

And neither am I able to say how great were the efforts I had put into studying.. And how far my efforts were from the level that is required for good results to be achieved.. How exactly can one gauge such things? I can only say, I wasn't wholly lazy.. Yet that isn't enough either.. It ought to be 'all or nothing', isn't it.. I will keep wondering how is giving one's 'all' to be defined.. So, I am also not sure about the degree of regret (or grudgingness?) I should feel if it happens that my results aren't too good..

Just a few days ago, I met up with a few good friends from my secondary school.. From Dunman High, that is.. They made it to the university a year ago, and I also knew they wld have no problem with regards to that.. Yet, we Millennians seem to have so much problem with that..=/ So, just what can we make out from this? Me and my friends from Dunman went to Mos Burger, and sat down to eat.. We talked for a couple of hours.. Shared the same conversation.. What difference is gonna appear btwn me and them? How come it seems that I have it's so much harder for myself to make it to the uni, when my Dunman friends (and those from the JCs) can just consider their chance of entering the uni as 100% that they don't even have to think abt it? They only need to consider which major they wish to do, etc.. At the time I took my PSLE (yah sorry lah, it's a long time ago, but I'm just gonna mention this), passing need not be taken into consideration at all.. My consideration was directly that of which of the top 5 secondary schools to aim to enter.. I don't recall studying for the PSLE, you know.. I just know I took the exam, and next I found myself in Dunman High..

Then, I wonder whether it's true for me to say that the awakening of my conscious state of mind also saw the start of my results slipping greatly.. Sounds ironic, yes? And nope, I didn't get hooked on bad habits when my consciousness started to awaken.. I remained pretty much of a nerd, so how come my results slipped then.. Probably can say that I studied less.. Or rather, no longer did I automatically set my butt down on a chair, open my text and just read it for regular periods.. I think I did that, like clockwork, when I was still in my lower secondary yrs..

Then during my upper secondary sch yrs, I found fanfiction on the Net to occupy myself with.. I didn't think much about my addiction (a mild one! hehe) to that, I was just entertained more than anything to check out fanfiction, watch dramas and all.. And now, this has developed into my being a movie buff, and I even wish to produce movies and dramas as my future occupation.. So, my addiction for fanfiction and tv dramas when I was still quite young as a secondary sch student, has turned out to mean something.. So perhaps such interests are innate then? This is something that has followed me through the yrs..

And when I think abt my secondary sch education, I can't say the same.. I would know that some studying had to be done, the day before each test or something.. (My secondary sch had tests extremely regularly) And I would do it (though as I've already said, I think I studied less and less in my upper sec sch yrs), no questions asked to better my understanding. But if my understanding was better then, would I have studied even less? Maybe not either.. This time for the 'A' levels, I knew I wanted to do something (for future career) not so relevant to our syllabus, but I studied so much harder as compared to the amount of studying I did for the 'O' levels.. Now I do accept the necessity of certain things.. So I think I shld be allowed to rant against the MOE freely, since I've actually forced myself to study the 'A' level syllabus..=P

And back to what I was saying, I think I can consider my secondary sch education to be fleeting, and actually it has all faded away from my memory by now. Whereas I find that my interests in movies etc has followed me since young, even when I didn't realize it when young. But the interest may be natural (could it be God-given too? lol), yet whether the success in this area will come as naturally is a big question mark..

Gotta go off now, and I will continue pondering abt these issues in the next post.. I'll mention more abt the movie then.. I left off talking abt the movie quite early in this post huh.. Hehe.. Ok, see ya!

write about yourself here like how you lived through a crisis like the morrocian crisis. erps, have you studied about that before and about your test, how easy it is and how much confidence you have to pass and get all A1s for all subjects, add in your own wish here, and what you would do if target is not reached, like slash your wrist, eat many many painkiller pills at one shot and die. lol it's suicidal thoughts. stay away from that. but you need to enter a reality, everyone's doing that- it's the trend, so why not follow it. unless you want to be an odd one out. cause slashing wrist is soo common in girls school not in boys school. boys suicide, just like die gracefully from 30th storey, just look on the bright side, maybe you have lived in a lie too long and so you have found out the turth now, just think. optimist wins. you have entered into a world of reality



We know life's hard, truth is hard, lies are hard, they are all hard to accept when they have been found out, and i'm rushing history homework on the Abyissian Crisis about Italy and Abyssia going into war and that the League Of Nations cannot stop this from happening, and beacuse they are formed by means to stop war and peace-keep the countries together, they have thus failed to achieve that. I think i tend to hold a class for history instead of telling you about me, i'm basically a what subject-realted lover (humanities) and thus I am more analytical and critical about things, and likes to study about dead people, haha. lol. it's history what can you expect and also geography, it amazes me. I really like it alot, so what have you? Again to find this answer you need to enter into your own reality and reflect




it's amazing. amzing how people change the way of things, like how I used to hate outdoors in Band felt it was a complete waste of time, i've acquired to like it more, i guess people change, their thereotical means and applications in life just goes on into a new direction, and see things in another perspective, i guess- it's all in the mind. It really amazes me how these comes into action, from someone so pessimistic has changed his own view of things, and thus my friend is scoring much better, being more optimisitc and not think of his old way of suicidal thoughts, which are pretty daunting. and thus we need to see things, in another light, another perspective and another new way, to enable us to open up our minds, and make more new things, the new way it is. done with the old back with the new

i've hiatus-ed.

/ 3:54 PM

I just watched "Singapore Dreaming", and I wasn't wrong to think that I would love it.. Yes, I love it! It's the best made-in-Singapore film I've seen.. I rate it a full 5 stars.. It shows the life (full of struggles) of an average Singaporean family residing in a HDB apartment, no more and no less.. But basically, the movie is about shattered dreams, and having to continue getting by as best as one can despite that.. There are no niceties, instead, coarse reality is presented.. And it turns out to be a very fine movie..

While watching this, worry about the 'A' level results newly returned to overwhelm myself.. To say that I'm merely worried is an understatement itself.. I can't predict my results at all.. Is it because I want to retain hope in myself? But it is also true that I dunno how lenient or how strict the markers are..

And neither am I able to say how great were the efforts I had put into studying.. And how far my efforts were from the level that is required for good results to be achieved.. How exactly can one gauge such things? I can only say, I wasn't wholly lazy.. Yet that isn't enough either.. It ought to be 'all or nothing', isn't it.. I will keep wondering how is giving one's 'all' to be defined.. So, I am also not sure about the degree of regret (or grudgingness?) I should feel if it happens that my results aren't too good..

Just a few days ago, I met up with a few good friends from my secondary school.. From Dunman High, that is.. They made it to the university a year ago, and I also knew they wld have no problem with regards to that.. Yet, we Millennians seem to have so much problem with that..=/ So, just what can we make out from this? Me and my friends from Dunman went to Mos Burger, and sat down to eat.. We talked for a couple of hours.. Shared the same conversation.. What difference is gonna appear btwn me and them? How come it seems that I have it's so much harder for myself to make it to the uni, when my Dunman friends (and those from the JCs) can just consider their chance of entering the uni as 100% that they don't even have to think abt it? They only need to consider which major they wish to do, etc.. At the time I took my PSLE (yah sorry lah, it's a long time ago, but I'm just gonna mention this), passing need not be taken into consideration at all.. My consideration was directly that of which of the top 5 secondary schools to aim to enter.. I don't recall studying for the PSLE, you know.. I just know I took the exam, and next I found myself in Dunman High..

Then, I wonder whether it's true for me to say that the awakening of my conscious state of mind also saw the start of my results slipping greatly.. Sounds ironic, yes? And nope, I didn't get hooked on bad habits when my consciousness started to awaken.. I remained pretty much of a nerd, so how come my results slipped then.. Probably can say that I studied less.. Or rather, no longer did I automatically set my butt down on a chair, open my text and just read it for regular periods.. I think I did that, like clockwork, when I was still in my lower secondary yrs..

Then during my upper secondary sch yrs, I found fanfiction on the Net to occupy myself with.. I didn't think much about my addiction (a mild one! hehe) to that, I was just entertained more than anything to check out fanfiction, watch dramas and all.. And now, this has developed into my being a movie buff, and I even wish to produce movies and dramas as my future occupation.. So, my addiction for fanfiction and tv dramas when I was still quite young as a secondary sch student, has turned out to mean something.. So perhaps such interests are innate then? This is something that has followed me through the yrs..

And when I think abt my secondary sch education, I can't say the same.. I would know that some studying had to be done, the day before each test or something.. (My secondary sch had tests extremely regularly) And I would do it (though as I've already said, I think I studied less and less in my upper sec sch yrs), no questions asked to better my understanding. But if my understanding was better then, would I have studied even less? Maybe not either.. This time for the 'A' levels, I knew I wanted to do something (for future career) not so relevant to our syllabus, but I studied so much harder as compared to the amount of studying I did for the 'O' levels.. Now I do accept the necessity of certain things.. So I think I shld be allowed to rant against the MOE freely, since I've actually forced myself to study the 'A' level syllabus..=P

And back to what I was saying, I think I can consider my secondary sch education to be fleeting, and actually it has all faded away from my memory by now. Whereas I find that my interests in movies etc has followed me since young, even when I didn't realize it when young. But the interest may be natural (could it be God-given too? lol), yet whether the success in this area will come as naturally is a big question mark..

Gotta go off now, and I will continue pondering abt these issues in the next post.. I'll mention more abt the movie then.. I left off talking abt the movie quite early in this post huh.. Hehe.. Ok, see ya!