/ 12:25 AM

Hate it most when my mother talks on and on abt all kinds of nonsense, things that wld make one dumbfounded tt such stupid ideas actually are in her head.. She never awakens her senses, and lives in her own world.. Believe it.. I dun wish to talk so disrespectfully, but this is how I see it..

Normally, all e rest of my family can do is to stay silent, and let her voice play on and on.. Then when the point will come again when too much emotion has been bottled up, and steam will have to be let off before we can start tolerating her again.. But the situation never changes after each outburst of coz, life still continues the same way.. We can never get her to see the hurt she inflicts upon us.. It's a damn tiring cycle..

Mother was juz saying to my brother things like, "you've no heart", "you're not supposed to do anything now that the situation is like that", "never affect your life, dunno what else you want".. Brother simply wanted to have a few bball matches occasionally, but she expects him - and me included - to give everything up other than studying.. Brother does put her 'situation' as a priority already, but she's blind to everything.. All she knows is to talk her crap, which has completely no basis..

We get so angry yet at the same time, desperate in trying to get her to see the rotten way she treats us.. Anger mixed with tears of fatigue.. My brother yells, "do you ever listen? stop talking! can you hear me? can you hear me!" But all she can ever listens to is herself.. We do consider how she wld be feeling at this point in time.. But it's tiring the way she behaves.. Makes things far far worse

I wonder what I wld answer if someone asks me if I love her.. And I feel a parent's biggest failure is if he/she was nt able to teach a child abt love..

And now u see that I have a crap environment to study.. Yet I have to force myself to do it.. As if the obstacles are not enough.. But then I still refuse to be defeated.. And this point abt myself is sth I feel most proud of.. I seriously hope I will always be able to pull thru, no matter what shit life is prone to throw in one's face.. Well yeah ^^

write about yourself here like how you lived through a crisis like the morrocian crisis. erps, have you studied about that before and about your test, how easy it is and how much confidence you have to pass and get all A1s for all subjects, add in your own wish here, and what you would do if target is not reached, like slash your wrist, eat many many painkiller pills at one shot and die. lol it's suicidal thoughts. stay away from that. but you need to enter a reality, everyone's doing that- it's the trend, so why not follow it. unless you want to be an odd one out. cause slashing wrist is soo common in girls school not in boys school. boys suicide, just like die gracefully from 30th storey, just look on the bright side, maybe you have lived in a lie too long and so you have found out the turth now, just think. optimist wins. you have entered into a world of reality



We know life's hard, truth is hard, lies are hard, they are all hard to accept when they have been found out, and i'm rushing history homework on the Abyissian Crisis about Italy and Abyssia going into war and that the League Of Nations cannot stop this from happening, and beacuse they are formed by means to stop war and peace-keep the countries together, they have thus failed to achieve that. I think i tend to hold a class for history instead of telling you about me, i'm basically a what subject-realted lover (humanities) and thus I am more analytical and critical about things, and likes to study about dead people, haha. lol. it's history what can you expect and also geography, it amazes me. I really like it alot, so what have you? Again to find this answer you need to enter into your own reality and reflect




it's amazing. amzing how people change the way of things, like how I used to hate outdoors in Band felt it was a complete waste of time, i've acquired to like it more, i guess people change, their thereotical means and applications in life just goes on into a new direction, and see things in another perspective, i guess- it's all in the mind. It really amazes me how these comes into action, from someone so pessimistic has changed his own view of things, and thus my friend is scoring much better, being more optimisitc and not think of his old way of suicidal thoughts, which are pretty daunting. and thus we need to see things, in another light, another perspective and another new way, to enable us to open up our minds, and make more new things, the new way it is. done with the old back with the new

i've hiatus-ed.

/ 12:25 AM

Hate it most when my mother talks on and on abt all kinds of nonsense, things that wld make one dumbfounded tt such stupid ideas actually are in her head.. She never awakens her senses, and lives in her own world.. Believe it.. I dun wish to talk so disrespectfully, but this is how I see it..

Normally, all e rest of my family can do is to stay silent, and let her voice play on and on.. Then when the point will come again when too much emotion has been bottled up, and steam will have to be let off before we can start tolerating her again.. But the situation never changes after each outburst of coz, life still continues the same way.. We can never get her to see the hurt she inflicts upon us.. It's a damn tiring cycle..

Mother was juz saying to my brother things like, "you've no heart", "you're not supposed to do anything now that the situation is like that", "never affect your life, dunno what else you want".. Brother simply wanted to have a few bball matches occasionally, but she expects him - and me included - to give everything up other than studying.. Brother does put her 'situation' as a priority already, but she's blind to everything.. All she knows is to talk her crap, which has completely no basis..

We get so angry yet at the same time, desperate in trying to get her to see the rotten way she treats us.. Anger mixed with tears of fatigue.. My brother yells, "do you ever listen? stop talking! can you hear me? can you hear me!" But all she can ever listens to is herself.. We do consider how she wld be feeling at this point in time.. But it's tiring the way she behaves.. Makes things far far worse

I wonder what I wld answer if someone asks me if I love her.. And I feel a parent's biggest failure is if he/she was nt able to teach a child abt love..

And now u see that I have a crap environment to study.. Yet I have to force myself to do it.. As if the obstacles are not enough.. But then I still refuse to be defeated.. And this point abt myself is sth I feel most proud of.. I seriously hope I will always be able to pull thru, no matter what shit life is prone to throw in one's face.. Well yeah ^^